The Mickey Disaster
by Mr. Monty
Summary: This is what I write when I can not work on edFAMOUS...please don't ask.


Mickey laughed with joy as he thinned Horace's legs from under him.

"Mickey! Why are you killing me?" Horace casually asked as he sipped tea.

Mickey laughed and aimed his brush at Horace's head. "Because I am hardcore!" and with that Mickey thinned Horace's head. He screamed in agony as the world around him dissolved along with his eyes. Mickey did nothing but laugh in childlike glee as Horace's screams came to a sudden stop.

Gus appeared behind Mickey and looked in horror at the pool of toon, then back to Mickey, then to the pool and back to Mickey and a the realization hit him like a brick. He had to buy some Old Spice due to this joke being so forced.

"Mickey! How could you!" Gus screamed and ran his hands through the toon pool in a sad attempt to bring the detective back to life. Mickey, ignoring him, conjured a sandwich from nowhere and took a bite. He frowned in dissatisfaction at the taste and looked at Gus for some answers. Then he had a brain storm. Mickey grabbed Gus and forcefully morphed him into a large spoon and scooped the melted toon onto his sandwich.

Gus frantically turned back to normal and could not believe what Mickey had become.

"Mickey! Y-Your a monster!" Mickey stopped chewing his Horace and ham sandwich and looked up at his guardian gauge. He seen that he still had two faithful paint guardian's due to his previous good deeds.

"A monster I am not." Mickey said, ate the exit door and went on his merry way. Gus, his character being under control by an author with no respect for canon characterization, shrugged this off and forgot about Horace's demise.

* * *

Outside, the toons of Mean Street were donning metal head hair and ripped black shirts and jeans. Why? Because Tenacious D was coming to town! Everyone was prepping for the big concert, especially Big Bad Pete who was wearing a shirt with a chicken on doing exercises on it. The words "Cock Pushups?" were engraved underneath.

Mickey,upon seeing metal head toons, came to conclusion that he did not find Tenacious D's music to be that good, only okay. "Tenacious D is an okay band!" Mickey shouted. The background music stopped playing and every toons head turned to look at the mouse who had a big smile on his face.

"Crucify him!" cried a random NPC with a torch in hand. Everyone charged at Mickey who immediately fired thinner at them. As the crowed continued to charge at and get killed by Mickey Pete had an idea. He touched the cock on his shirt and pulled it out of it's sewn prison. Upon being released the cock grew ten miles wide and ten miles long.

Mickey! Look out!" Gus pointed and yelled. Mickey turned around and seen Pete himself had mounted the giant cock with an automatic machine shotgun in hand. "But I ordered a _junior_ western bacon cheese!" Mickey yelled and opened fire upon the not penis joke chicken. Pete returned fire with a noob tube but since this is based off a Disney game the grenade morphed into a Twinkie mid-flight. Mickey ate of the Twinkie and turned gargantuan in size in order to match the giant cock.

Pete fired his shells from the gun really fast at Mickey. Mickey however, after blinking to watch every episode of Naruto, mastered the Shadow Clone Jutsu so Pete hit a clone instead of the real Mickey. Mickey then ate a bucket of KFC's spicy chicken and gained fire breath.

Pete, seeing Mickey's nostrils secrete lava leapt off the cock and Mickey fired at the Cockety cock cock. "I was only here for immature penis jokes!" yelled the giant chicken and died. As Mickey ate the remains of the chicken the survivors smart enough to hide looked up and saw the heavens open up.

The sky's echoed with sound of God's car door slamming and a choir of angels singing as two men who rode atop pegasi wearing golden armor laced with diamonds and the blood of the hottest virgins towards Mickey.

"It's motherfucking Tenacious D!" Cried the ghost of Lonesome Manor as God's appointed apostles of Rock landed in the square of Mean Street. Mickey turned to see the men brandish their guitars crafted Michael the Archangel himself. Their plastic replaced with diamond, the plain wood replaced with wood from the cross of Christ and the strings carefully constructed from the teeth of Satan's loyalist demons.

Mickey was stunned but not scared as he approached them. All was quiet in the world of Wasteland as the titans faced each other in a stare down, awaiting the other to make the first move. Mickey was the first to break the world wide silence.

"You guys look like fags." A laugh accompanied these words heard around the world. Everyone in Wasteland gasped and awaited to see what their champions would do in response. Keeping a face of stone, the two raised their arms with picks made from the teeth of Cthulhu in hand and strummed. A sonic boom of rainbows spread across the world and revived everyone who Mickey had killed. As the boom settled Mickey looked in horror at the duo and realized he stood no chance against the holy men.

Instead of begging, Mickey uttered the words that everyone expected him to say: "Be you angels?" The two men looked at each other and back to Mickey. Just then, the planets aligned, an eclipse occurred and the stars shined on the duo.

"Nay, we are but men. ROCK!" What followed was a yell that saved those that were damned and made men out of virgins. With a strum of their guitars all of Earths orphans joined hands and sang "O' Fortuna" as a Tsunami of rainbows rained from the heavens and towards the evil mouse. Mickey screamed in horror and tried to run but was struck by the purity of rock.

"So...much...awesomeness!" he screamed and was turned into a golden statue. All of the inhabitants of Wasteland cheered as the appointed saints rode back to the heavens for some muffins. The statue of Mickey was placed next to Walt's statue and was pooped on by the local birds.

_Later that Night_

The Mad Doctor approached the statue of Mickey and whispered "I think it is time to summon the _real _Mickey Mouse." "Agreed" said the statue and the Shadow Blot oozed out a tiny crack in the statue. "I'll get my lab in Dark Beauty Castle ready." The Mad Doctor said and walked away as the blot tossed the statue towards Mickeyjunk Mountain and then proceeded to wipe everyones memory for the purpose of canon.

**FIN**


End file.
